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(Fly Over Me)

[03 May 2004|08:39pm]
[ mood | indescribable ]

Wow, that's all that I can say. The reality of this situation is frightening. It's so strange, Chris wasn't a kid that I knew too well. I was in maybe two classes with him in elementary school and maybe one class in my whole junior high school, high school experience and I can't say that he crossed my mind in the eight years that I've known him, but now that he's gone I can't get him out of my head. It amazes me how many lives one person can touch. It saddens me to know that Chris will never know how many people's lives he did touch, I wish he knew how infectiuos his smile was and how geniune his sense of humor was. History was the saddest class of my life, the only class that I shared with Chris. It was so saddening to hear all of the cries and deep breaths of his friends and to see Keilitz on the verge of tears. I can't think of a sweeter, funnier, smarter kid than Chris, he was just so genuine. I don't know wy it had to happen to him, he did'nt deserve to die like this. He left a legacy behind and an imprint on everybody's heart that he ever met.Chris,I'll never forget you. You are my reminder of how unpredictable and cruel life can be. Well one thing is for certain, you will never be forgotten.
As for Amanda her future in uncertain but she's in everyones thoughts and prayers. It broke my heart to see all of her friends hysterical and trembling for her to recover. I have a strong feeling that she will pull through. We just have to hope. I'll be praying for you Amanda. You're another person that has touched so many people's lives, I hope you know that. I know you've touched mine.
Today was the strangest day of my life, everyone grieving at once, silence and tears in the hall way, friends coming together to love one another, it was so surreal. I wish that we can come together like this all of the time, it's horrible that a tragedy has to bring us all together. This day was also an awakening for me and many others, confirming what I've always said that you should never take any thing in this life for granted because life is too short and you never know when your time is up.

This is a day that I will n e v e r forget

Chris, you have left a permanent imprint on my h e a r t

Amanda, you've touched my l i f e and you probably don't even know it

RIP Chris Versace 5-1-04

Amanda, don't give up, just hold on

I Love You All, Ashley

(1 more purple skies fly over me | Fly Over Me)

tears in heaven [02 May 2004|08:23pm]
Wow, I know I wrote an entry about Chris and Amanda early today but I'm still in such disbelief. You hear about things like this, but you never think that it could happen to your friend or classmate. Chris you were such a sweet, funny, bright kid. I remember elementary school with you and I remember your mom Denise, one of the sweetest woment to ever bless this earth. She brought you up so well and you could've gone so far. I can't believe that you've been ripped away from the world in such cruel way. No one deserves to die they way that you did, but you will always be remembered and I think that I can speak for the whole class of 2005 when I say that you will be deeply missed. And to Amanda, everyone's praying for you. I have faith that you will pull through. You are a such a beautiful, funny, down to earth girl. You have the unique ability to turn the world on with your smile. You are in my thoughts and prayers.It's a shame that something like this has to happen in order to pull a community together.

To all my friends,
my best friends,
my close friends,
my not so close friends,
friends of the past,
my family,
I love you all so fucking much
and I dont know if I say it enough
I want everybody to know that I am truly blessed with the most amazing friends in the world. Youve always been there for me and if any of you every need anything I am here for you. I love you all, pass on the love.

RIP Chris Versace

Stay Strong Amanda

(Fly Over Me)

shattered dreams [02 May 2004|10:06am]
[ mood | disbelief ]

I just heard the news, I didn't know him well but I went to elementary school with him. He was such a sweet kid, with a lot of potential. I feel horrible, This is so sad. Now we know the meaning out shattered dreams. Rest In Peace Chris, you will be missed I'm sure. and Amanda I may not know you well either or be close to you but you are in my thoughts and prayers. I can't believe that this really happened. I just can't. Tomorrows going to be so weird.

(Fly Over Me)

won't you kill me so I die happy [01 May 2004|05:58pm]
[ mood | thoughtful ]

Yea so today was sats
Steph brought me = )
we got there early and walked aroud alittle
then it was test time
it wasnt thaaaat bad,
I definitely improved at the math problems
the reading comp wasn't bad at all
some of the vocab was tricky, so that sucked
because I'm usually good with the vocab = /
I really don't know how good I did
How can ya tell you know
I can only hope :::hopes:::
I really want to break 1200 hah!
I have high hopes
yea so that was that
I got done early and waited for Steph Sarah and Coli,
drove them to chuch and to home lol
came home ate lunch
hung around
just typed up an essay on carelessness in the great gatsby fun!
yea so here I am bored but I got my music so I'm good
this school year went by so damn fast
I cant believe that Im going to be a senior next year
umm jps next week but Im not going
me and the gurlies have to decide what were doing, it shall be fun
okay I'm out
xOx Ashley

(Fly Over Me)

Fantastically Fun Friday Night with Such a Saddening SAT Saturday Moring ahead [30 Apr 2004|09:59pm]
[ mood | nervous ]

I have gotten out of a lot of classes lately with the shattered dreams program and the trips for Spanish which is fun. Except for when you miss lunch and not chem but what can ya do right. So today was a good day on the whole. Nothing really interesting happedn in school cept for me singing I see you baby, shakin that ass to random people b/f 6th haha Mercedes that was funny! Um so I got home and got two good things in the mail, my permit, whooo! and my report card, I got a 91 average even though I failed chemistry not too shabby egh. So I was happy to get those things in the mail. I went over Mercedes tonight and we had a blasssssst as usual. I love her so much <333. We had such a great time, and I'm glad we didnt see the drama. Theyre so boring and typical. It's all politics with all of the who gets picked, it has nothing to do with talent or passion its just whos been in every drama for the past three years. Thats so unfair it's like an unwritten rule that if youve never been in a dram or musical you can't be in this one, hows that work? I've also heard almost every single monologue from the play so whats the sense of going right. I also have my SATs tomorrow and I'd rather be getting sleep or preping than watching a two hour act about how tough high school is, high sucks sometimes, yeah, get over it. Why write a play about it? Yea so SATs are tomorrow, and I'm going to do so bad, I just know it. I should really study more for things like these, but how do you study for a test that tests your application and comprhension skills. It's not about what youve learned, its about what you are capable of doing. I'm so scared, I want to do well so bad. Everyone told me that I did so well on my psats, which I don't agree with, but now I have to much confidence about the test. Im trying to think postively, Im a smart girl, I should do very well, I just have to stay clam, focused and apply my knowledge I know that I can do this. I need to do well, I really do. I need to stop being so nervous and anal about everything, I worry about things way too much. I don't know why I procrastinate so damn much, I really don't. Back to tonight, I had such a fun time, Thank you Mercedes for everything, I love how we can have a blast do nothing at all, or just walking or window shopping, singing, walking around aimlessly, chatting, eating. Were so alike its weird, but a good weird. It's amazing how we see eye to eye on almost everything. I just want to say that I'm so glad to have you as a friend, you really mean so much to me. Well I better be getting some sleep, SAT tomorrow, wish me luck? <3
xOx Ashley

(Fly Over Me)

My foot fell alseep...Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit [28 Apr 2004|09:07pm]
[ mood | amused ]

Hey all, hows it going,not too bad here! Today was The Bronx Zoo trip...fun! but I had to go to English first, not tooo bad I guess,
golf vests hahaha anyways Colleen and I left English at like 10 to 8
we walked down to the audiotorium and waited and then we got on ze bus and got mad at her headphones, but that was okay we listened to my mixes the whole ride there, she loved them. We rocked out to Something Corporate, Brand New, Fall Out Boy, AAR, Lost Prophets, Rufio and many others, fun. Me and Col have great taste in music!!!! Were so hot lol. So we got there a little before 10 I believe and we waited for a few then we walked around with Kellie, Heather and Kristine. We saw reptiles, amphibians, bears, tigers, giraffes, alligators, crocodiles, ostriches, rats (ewwwww) and some fucking fat foot ball player with a huge neck that kind of resembled a bull dog, ooo wait that was just Mike HAH! We saw huge elephants and rhinos too! agh, they smelt like shiiit too lol. I can't remeber what else we saw, awww the baby sea lions and a daddy sea lion...he was so big and making a scary maiting call noise, but I made it right back. We saw a lot of monkeys like the one that Ross has on Friends. So we saw alot lol and we ate too, I only nought snacks though because the tax was 85865746346445959 billion dollars, but thats okay. They're ice cream sprinkles were weird, like the taste egh. So the trip was pretty fun, pointless but fun nonetheless. O man it was so cold at first but thank god it got warmer. And there was soooo many people there, it was weird. By the bathroom there was nuns, kindergarteners, old people, disabled people and killer birds all over hahahahaha. I can't think of anything else. Oh yea Kristine took a pciture of Me and Col on a giant turtle haha, it was obscene, but thats alright. So then we left and we got on the bus and I put in my weirrrrrrrrrrrd mix hahaha, it was amazing. Mr and Col sang our <3s out and we got loud lol! So we got back to school and me and Col took the chem test that we missed today, it was a toughy! Then Colleen drove me home because shes so sweeeet. Umm I got home and went out with my dad and brother to the library lol, then I came home and made a copy of my hotness cd for Coli. Then I ate dinner...steak and rice AY AY. Then I watched a movie with my brother. And then Steph called me and we talked for a few and she tokd me that I had to write a paper for English blehhh, so I did that and read chapter 9, umm thats about all. I should be doing my Friday assignment right about now! Hah.
Okay I'm out
Love Yas
xOx Ashley

Damn, I wish I was your LOVER

(1 more purple skies fly over me | Fly Over Me)

[27 Apr 2004|09:14pm]
[ mood | weird ]


shakin' dat asssssssss

(Fly Over Me)

just because [26 Apr 2004|03:10pm]
[ mood | crazy ]

so today started off crazy, I was tired and all blah and I was trying to get ready in time for the bus. My hair looked like crap as did the rest of me, as usual. It was just crazy Monday morning. Then I get out side and it's like a monsoon outside, cute right. Since I didnt have a hood on my jacket I decided to use the hood on my hoodie/sweatshirt, so Im getting all wet becasue the water's seeping down my neck and back. My pants are drenched and my binder is filling with rain, It was really sweet. So I'm wet, bitchy, tired, had a bad case of the Mondays and what day is it??? PICTURE DAY. WTF not right, that's cute because my nest is really hot. So I had English 1st period, we take our Great Gatsby quiz then the class walkd down to the boys gym, (still wet and gross and ugly and fat and still have a nest on my friggin head) and I'm online talking to Jckie laughing about the irony of having picture day on a dreaty rainy Monday and It's my turn to go right I say Carbonaro, CAR and the woman says, are you going into 10? HAHAHAHAHA thats funny since I'm seventeen but your close! Whatever it probably came out horrible just like all of my school pictures do, I dont even care. I hear that next year we're going to have to wear our id's hahahahah thats really cute! No really I love it <333 Well that was that. 2nd period spanish was so funny!!! Col called up the Bronx Zoo to inquire about Barred Tiger Salamanders and the man on the phone let her ramble on about it and then told her that he was security guard! I almost dies, maybe I did who knows. 3rd was lunch, funny stories about willy wonka and leprecaun impersonators goin to junior prom, but Katy didnt throw up any stomach acid so thats was good. US History was a bore, as usual. Health was fun, because Oislander was absent. Math was okay I guess, chem wasnt so bad. Drama...sub haha fun. Nikki tried to put a feather in my mouth all period and I listened to Katie's techno mixed cd. Fun Fun. well now Im home and bored whoo.
Leave me something good
xOx Ashley

(Fly Over Me)

...It's not always rainbows and butterflies... [24 Apr 2004|04:12pm]
[ mood | good ]

So I'm in such a better mood than I was the other day

I really needed this weekend I guess

maybe time does heal all things

so yesterday my mom finally gave in and let me have Meg over and we had a great time. We watched Thirteen, it was a really great movie, though I really dont think that thirteen year olds do those things but thats okay. We watched that and ate food and talked and listened to music and chilled...fun time

today I went driving !!!!

first time ever, I was a little nervous

I went down to Venetian Shores Parking lot and drove for a good 45 minutes

I wasnt so good in the beginning but I got better lol

my mom was soooo patient and clam with me, I was really surprised

she said that I parked really well and that I made good turns, go me!

ummm thats about all, I drove !!!! yay

I have no plans today = (

I hope I do something

okay I'm out

Love Yas

xOx Ashley

(4 more purple skies fly over me | Fly Over Me)

fuck [22 Apr 2004|08:40pm]
[ mood | pissed off ]

Hey you know what I love...
I love when things are going good for once and you're all happy and optimistic about life and school and then someone just has to ruin it, because there's some rule like I don't deserve to be happy FUCK THAT. I hate feeling like this, I dont even care anymore. The whole world can go and screw it self really hard. I hate how people have to take their problems out on you, I hate that I let them walk all over me and control my feelings. I hate feeling helpless and I hate feeling like this! I hate complaining because I hate pitty but whatever I cant deal with this I have enough shit going on in my life. I just want to be happy, guess my hopes are too high. I was really in such a happy mood today and lately and I had a nice little happy journal entry but I had to fucking delete it because Im not so happy anymore, thats a real fucking shame, maybe I should stop living in my happy little world of fantasies, and be realistic. Yea I'll do that I HATE YOU, GO FUCK YOURSELF! that's pretty real. Wow Im a pretty hateful person , I mean I dont hate the world thats a good thing right. I just hate certain people. I might have to love you you, but know that I fucking hate you sometimes, and thats a shame, but thats the truth and the funny part is that you have painted this picture crystal clear for me, If it werent for what you do to me I wouldnt have any hate for you. I know one day you're going to look back and be really sorry for all the times you've made me feel like this and you'll want me in youre life and I'll be too far gone and I wont ever want to know you. I despise you I really do, what you have put me through I hope no one ever has to go through. I don't understand you, I've tried so hard to. I've put so much faith in you and it's wearing me out. I can't do this anymore, correction,I won't do this anymore.

there is so much you'll never see and never know becasue theres so much behind this smile i'll never show

(2 more purple skies fly over me | Fly Over Me)

hey hey hey, I'm what's happenin' [20 Apr 2004|07:06pm]
[ mood | happy ]

I'm in such a good / happy mood = )
I love this b-e-a-u-t-i-f-u-l weather
I knew it would come, eventually...
... <3 <3 <3 spring <3 <3 <3 ...
so this week is going good so far
got alot of good grades for the 3rd quarter,
except for chem which I failed witha 62
I suck at chem, what can I do
but I got a 90 in Math, go me !!!
yea so grades have been good
and classes have been easy
no homework as usual of course
about god damn time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Col's gonna teach me how to drive, hahaha Mierda Caliente Baby
yea so I went to the DMV today and took the test and passed
I was so nervous and my mom was crying, hahaha she's so cute but gay lol
I can't wait to start driving whoo!
after the dmv I went to school end of 5th, who does that, that'd be me
so I had an interesting half day of school, I didnt miss anything important Thank God
today kids ate electricuted pickles and chalk, voluntarily, they must be monourished or something
oh yea I got those sandals everyone else has ,in black, go me!
so that was my day
I'm out
Love Ya's
xOx Ashley

ps Everytime, beautiful song <333

The way I feel for you I can't describe, It's almost too intense to verbalize, Essentially you're all I'm living for and basically each day i need you .*. m o r e a n d m o r e .*.

(Fly Over Me)

Spring is in the air... [17 Apr 2004|04:44pm]
[ mood | happy ]

Hey hey hey
it's sooo niiice out!
I love spring <333

so I had a great time with Mercedes last night, as usual lol
we watched some tv, and just talked and sang the 7th heaven theme song and made jokes about how many kids live in the Camden residence hahahaha good times
then we ate Applebees Yum! thanks for the mozerella sticks my love
then we winded down a little bit on ze computer and rocked out to some Red Hot Chili Peppers fun fun

today I woke up and had breakefast, rebel
lounged, listened to music, jumped in the shower and got pretty(er)
and now the family's getting ready for my aunts 40 Birthday Party, it's a surprise party! whoooo
I can't wait lol
I'm really bored blah
talked to my Steph <3 lol she's so funny I lvoe her soooo effin much yay
I got my Senior Portraits in ze mail, they came out better than I had expected yay lol
the cap and gown is dreadful but thats okay
well I better run, party time

okay I'm out
Enjoy the Spring weather
Love Yas
xOx Ashley

(Fly Over Me)

school stinks, arrid doesn't work [15 Apr 2004|03:23pm]
[ mood | head hurts/bored ]

Ugh today was my first day back to school, these 2 days are so pointless...
It wasn't so bad but I didn't want to be there at all
I had a bad headache the second half of the day
two of my teachers were absent today, see they can take off! no fair ::pouts::
okay my boring day back.....
*we watched Great Gatsby in English, cufflings made of mollers...wtf
*did nothing in Spanish, since I finished my itinerary already
*lunch was lunch, the only class I like lately
*In Us History I talked to Diana all period because Keilitz was on Jury Duty and we were bored
*Health was blahdi blah blah as usual
*In Math I watched everyone present their math projects and then I volunteered to present mine because I wanted to get it over with
*Chem was boring but I got a 100 on my project whooo!
*We went to the audiotorium during gym because we got new gym floors, whoop-di-fucking-doo-daa
drama was boring and my partner was absent
so that was my extremely pointless boring day
Im out
xOx Ashley

(Fly Over Me)

vacation's over already ? [14 Apr 2004|02:19pm]
[ mood | bored ]

Wow this vacation flew by so effin fast !!!
I had a good one though
so yea, I'm pretty bored right about now
mom's in Indiana now, visting her ill cousin
Indiana sounds like a weird place,
I mean who would want to live there
there was a show about Indiana, oh yes
Erie Indiana I think it was called
anyways my dad took my sister out to the dentist
:::cringes::: a lot
so I did'nt get my permit surprise
I didnt have my social security or birth certificate
whatever, I'll get one day...before I'm 30
so today I ran all over the place shopping and eating fun stuff
now Im home and bored and I have to help dad with zee kids while mom's away whoo!
okay I'm out
xOx Ashley

<3 can I be your memory <3

(Fly Over Me)

nobody puts baby in a corner [12 Apr 2004|11:32pm]
So today wasn't half bad
does that make it half good ?
I never really got that statement lol
So I woke up pretty late today, well close to 10
thats late for me lol
watched tv, did my lazy bum thing
then I got clean and pretty
and my mom gave me a gift certificate to the Nail Plaza
so I got my eyebrows done, fun fun
then I went food shopping, story of my life
and then I went to the Library to get a book for Bjerke
...I got the Joy Luck Club, looks really good,
I've been meaning to read it for years
I took out some movies because bordom sucks, a lot
then I came home and started my project
...gotta love dead Greek mathematicians woot woot!
then I had dinner, gotta love chicken cutlet Mondays lol
Meaghan came over around 7:30
we watched Dirty Dancing, (the original)
and American Wedding funnAy movie
we had snacks and talked, fun times
Meg's a really awesome girl, friskay too lol Meg
well now I'm bored again, god damnit
I'm out xOx Ashley

(4 more purple skies fly over me | Fly Over Me)

Just beacause [11 Apr 2004|10:32pm]
[ mood | calm ]

Yea, I'm updatimg again because I have no life...
what else is new
well my Easter turned out swell
I had a nice morning/afternoon with the family,
going out to chucrch and to eat and such things
the cake we had was soooooo good and cute too a little Easter Bonnet!
but then I was bored out of my mind, and bordom sucks as we all know
Stephanie invited me over to have dessert with her family
so I did, yum brownies !!!
we had a great time as usual
BFF AFF DFF EFF lol...fun times
But when I got home from Steph's house a little while ago,
reality set in
My mom's cousin Nancy is dying, she had pneumonia, and while she was getting a recheck the doctors discovered a lump in her throat. It was causing the fluids not to drain in her throat from the pnuemonia or something, she was in a coma and now she's on life support and things aren't looking too goodfor her. I really love her a lot. I mean even if I didnt I'd feel just horrible. But shes such a wonderful woman, and shes been through a lot in her life. She one of the few family members that I love. I don't understand why bad things happen to good people, genuine people, young people...why? All I can do is pray for her, shes miles away but she'll be in my prayers. It's so strange that we found this news out on Easter. You'll be in my prayers aunt Nancy <3

(Fly Over Me)

Happy Easter [11 Apr 2004|04:01pm]
[ mood | tired ]

Hey Hey,
It's Easter and I'm bored whoo whoo!
That's alright
Not such a bad Easter
woke up early
and opened my Easter Basket
I got a lot of candy bc I'm cool like that
and some other things
then me and the fam went to 10:30 mass
and then we went out to eat brunch
and now we're going to have our Easter dessert
it's a cute Easter Bonnet
and that's about all
Have a Happy Easter
this vacation is going by wayyy too fast = (
xOx Ashley

(Fly Over Me)

[11 Apr 2004|10:16am]
Happy Easter Everyone

(2 more purple skies fly over me | Fly Over Me)

who ever said that time went by so slowly lied [08 Apr 2004|11:06pm]
[ mood | thoughtful ]

Hey all
had a pretty boring yeterday, Wednesday
but today made up for it
It started out okay
I woke up
hung around
then I went shopping and out to eat with my dad and brother
and then I went to Mercedes' house!!!
thank god, I think I was going through some sort of Mercedes withdrawal agh!
but I'm good now
we had a great time, as usual
great friends, muisc, pizza, emo band game, Travis the Pizza Guy, Dickly Dickinson
what more could you ask for honestly ?
I love Mercedes! shes my Emo Olmo Goddess woot woot
fun times...
so this vacation is going by too fast = (
okay I'm out
xOx Ashley

Life moves pretty fast, if you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it

(Fly Over Me)

[07 Apr 2004|09:28pm]
[ mood | bored ]

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<a href="http://www.angelfire.com/dc/candybubbles/egg.html"><img

awwww It's so cute

I'm bored lol

I'm gonna take a random survey

<table style="font-size:10px;"><tr><td>Britney or Christina:</td><td>Christina </td></tr><tr><td>Jessica Simpson or Mandy Moore:</td><td>Mandy Moore </td></tr><tr><td>Punk'd or Scare Tactics:</td><td>Punk'd I like to see rich people piss thier pants </td></tr><tr><td>Real World or Road Rules:</td><td>real world </td></tr><tr><td>Mtv or Vh1:</td><td>Mtv </td></tr><tr><td>Bevis or Butthead:</td><td>don't matter </td></tr><tr><td>Nickelodeon or Noggin:</td><td>Nickelodeon </td></tr><tr><td>Eminem or ICP:</td><td>Eminem baby </td></tr><tr><td>Rap or Rock:</td><td>Im stuck in the middle </td></tr><tr><td>Pop or Rap:</td><td>either </td></tr><tr><td>Pepsi or Coke:</td><td>Coke </td></tr><tr><td>Sprite or Mountain Dew:</td><td>neither, but I guess Sprite </td></tr><tr><td>Pepsi or Faygo Cola:</td><td>Pepsi </td></tr><tr><td>Canada or USA:</td><td>USA </td></tr><tr><td>McDonalds or Burger King:</td><td>Burger King </td></tr><tr><td>Old or New:</td><td>Depends on the thing </td></tr><tr><td>Night or Day:</td><td>Night </td></tr><tr><td>Cold or Hot:</td><td>hot </td></tr><tr><td>Kiss or Hug:</td><td>Kiss </td></tr><tr><td>Kiss on the cheek or Make out:</td><td>awww don't matter </td></tr><tr><td>Weed or Alcohol:</td><td>Alcohol I suppose </td></tr><tr><td>Beer or Wine:</td><td>Wine </td></tr><tr><td>Rent or Own:</td><td>Own </td></tr><tr><td>Armageddon or Deep Impact:</td><td>Armageddon </td></tr><tr><td>Friends or Lovers:</td><td>haahahah lusty lovahs </td></tr><tr><td>Girls or Guys:</td><td>I like guys but girls as friends... </td></tr><tr><td>Good Charlotte or Simple Plan:</td><td>Simple PLan </td></tr><tr><td>Middle School or High School:</td><td>High School </td></tr><tr><td>High School or College:</td><td>High School lol </td></tr></table><br /><a href="http://www.bzoink.com/surveys.php?id=925" title="which do u like better?">which do u like better?</a> brought to you by <a href="http://www.bzoink.com" title="Free Online Surveys - BZOINK!">BZOINK!</a>

yea thats about all

boring day

I <3 Steph

thats about all

I'm out

xOx Ashley

<marquee>I believe in miracles, where you from? you sexAy thing

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